Posts
The idea of my style of blogging is simple. I want people to read this and stop and think about their actions, their lives, and their responsibilities, to make them see what they could be doing to someone else. The harsh reality is that most people don’t know they’re hurting those around them in some shape or form. By blogging it is non-confrontational, there is no yelling or screaming or pointing of fingers, there is only truth.
The rules of my blog:
-I will never name names. If you think it is about you then it probably is. That is the point.
Healthy Boundaries & the Vicious Cycle
Why is it people have such a hard time owning up to their responsibilities? I take a long hard look at the lives of those around me and I simply do not understand. The things some of the people in my life are going through right now absolutely disgust me sometimes. Responsibilities consist of so many different things… Some of these things are responsibility for your own actions, reactions, ideas, thoughts, feelings, promises, and obligations. Leaving ANY of these things unfulfilled constitutes a failure on YOUR part. It is NEVER the responsibility of the OTHER party to take that responsibility for YOU. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE, DO NOT BE MISTAKEN. It has been said throughout history, “Evil prevails when good men fail to act.” and I cannot agree more.
It is nothing short of evil stealthily finding its way into our minds and hearts when we ignoring the duties we have to not only pledged our selves to, but the ones we hold the most dear as well. In a perfect and ideal world all people would treat everyone fairly. I know this is not always the case. Let me ask you, the reader, this: If you saw someone being mugged, would you really feel right simply walking away? I’d hope your answer to this would be no; that you would feel guilty by not attempting to help this person who very realistically needs you. So why would you do the same thing to someone else? You have an obligation as a HUMANBEING to be responsible!
I know in the heat of the moment people say some fucked up things to one another, things they never should have said in the first place. While you are indeed way over stepping your boundaries, you, and ONLY you, is responsible for owning up to that mistake. Now, this street does run BOTH ways. It doesn’t matter who started it, its completely inconsequential once the shit flinging has started. WHAT DOES MATTER IS WHO PUTS THE STICK DOWN FIRST. An admission of guilt is NOT a bad thing. People, you need to GET OVER YOURSELVES. YOU ARE NOT THE MOST IMPORANT THING TO WALK THIS EARTH! What matters most is that you have enough common sense to suck up your pride, to humble yourself and admit your mistakes.
Most people are not good at communicating their emotions well enough to adequately address issues like this, and that is okay. You, or your significant other, or your friend, or your family member is just going to have to understand that apologizing is hard sometimes. As long as you conduct your behavior in a truly sincere way the message WILL get across. DON’T STOP COMMUNICATING. Even if you communicate poorly its better then not communicating at all. Clear communication is a learned trait, it is not a magical behavior only to be bestowed on the fortunate. It is like any other talent, some are just better at it then others by nature. You can learn anything, and be anything if you had the mind to practice!
I want to be clear: I am throwing all of you under the bus, and I do mean ALL. EVERYONE can always improve their behavior. At this point in your lives you need to re-evaluate the way you handle situations good and bad. Could you have been a little more sincere? Forgiving? Less sensitive? More sensitive? Controlled your temper better? Held your tongue? Been more encouraging? STOP AND THINK ABOUT IT. We are all people, we all make mistakes, what matters is the content of your CHARACTER. Personally I have a very high sense of responsibility. I know this, I know not all people can own up, I know not all people are responsible. BUT YOU SHOULD BE. YOU ARE NOT EXCUSED DUE TO YOUR LACKING CONSCIOUS. YOU DO NOT GET AN EXCUSE. You don’t have one, just forget it.
Another common thing I am experiencing is people using a fraise: “Well if you hadn’t done BLANK then I wouldn’t have reacted this way.” No. Stop. You wrong. This is YOU pushing responsibility for YOUR reaction onto someone else. Stop trying to make it out to be anything but: you are lacking responsibility. The other party is responsible for what they said, but you are responsible for how you react! Is it a wife’s fault the husband beat her because she went out when he didn’t want her to? NO. He is responsible for his actions! Just like all the rest of us! He could have chosen to sit down and talk to her about his hurt feelings, his jealousy or whatever the case may be, but instead he beat her. This of course is an extreme example. But you SHOULD get the point.
Marriage should not redefine the way a relationship works. Being married to someone does not suddenly evolve into ownership – FOR ANYONE. This means husbands and wives alike. You do not get to choose your significant other’s friends, family, or interests. You do not get the right to tell them what they can and cannot do. This does not become a matter of “As my wife/husband you should do this.” Again, you are wrong. Just because you are married does not give you the right to rule over ANYONE’S existence. Your relationship should still contain all the freedoms you had when you where dating them. They can go out see their friends, have a good time, get a break and not need to be around you ALL hours of the day. THAT IS NOT RELAISTIC.
While some people choose to live their lives this way, it is a CHOICE. And for others, like myself, I WILL NOT. I will not do what you want me to based on the fact we’re in a relationship, I will do the BLANK because I want to and it will be for no other reason. Right, wrong, good, bad, fair, or unfair. I will make my OWN CHOICES. AND SO WILL YOU. It is NOT a matter of “Well if you love me you would.” Wrong again. It is a CHOICE. A relationship, any relationship is about give and take. Do NOT ask someone to do something you your self would not do. And respect them if they do not want to live their lives the way you think they should. Even if you think the choice is wrong. At the end of the day we are all going to do what we want to do regardless of anyone. The hope is that we would conduct ourselves in a way that is just, honorable, fair, loving, considerate, passionate, forgiving, selfless, and RESPECTABLE.
So many of you are blinded by that ugly monster called pride. And where others do not have a voice, I will speak for them. For all of you. There are two sides to every single story. All of us share the fault in an argument. It takes two to argue. Remember that. Now go, put down your sticks and love one another. You don’t know when this life will end, is that how you want to be remembered? The last time you ever spoke to this person was with hate? Now is all you have, live in the now. Forgive the past and love.
